I’ve been wanting to post a big ramble about body confidence and not caring about many things for a while. Imagine a load of squiggles on a piece of paper because that is my brain. So I have never really known where to start. I was looking through my drafts and I have 6 different variations of this post. That are all different but all the same?! So I’m a mess but we’ll get over it.
My figure in general is quite slim so I feel like people just presume I will be content. But one thing that always gets to me is that people don’t seem to understand that no matter your shape and size, you can be insecure. I have felt so shit in my body for so long. I couldn’t used to bare to see my self in the mirror, I just hated the way I looked. In my eyes, my tummy was too big and I always hated my legs. I have became quite self conscious in my thighs as I’ve had noticeable red/purple stretch marks on my thighs recently. And I have some scars on my thighs from bad times in the past. But I’m learning to love these things about me.
I’m really trying to feel good in myself. I’m currently on my summer and in September I’ll be going into my first year of sixth form at the secondary school I’ve been at since year 7. So it’s no new surroundings which I guess is good for my anxious self. However I truly hate school, I was in a bad place in myself in year 11 so I’m really dreading going back. But I feel if I get myself feeling super good in myself then it will hopefully help. I need to try and gain something called confidence which I currently do not have.
If I compare myself to a couple of months ago, I have definitely gained confidence and self love. And hopefully it will only go up! I recently went on holiday and posted a bikini pic on my instagram which is a big step for me. I genuinely had a pit in my stomach but I felt so great in myself when I did.
So I thought I’d write this post and include a bit about how I’ve gained confidence in my body. And I think gaining confidence in my body has made me gain overall confidence in myself. Obviously different things will work better for different people but these are some things that have worked for myself.
Going to the gym; First of all, the main thing that has boosted my confidence has been starting the gym and going frequently every week.
I want to say a disclaimer about the gym though before I carry on. When trying to improve your body confidence and self love. Alternating your weight and appearance is not necessary. Yes it may help as I want to loose a little weight which I think will make myself feel good. But that’s just your preference and I personally think self love comes from accepting who you are. Obviously is you want to loose or gain weight or change your eating then totally do it because you may as well try to see if you prefer that lifestyle. But changing your looks isn’t necessarily going to make your self love come instantly.
And I just don’t want it to seem like going to the gym, like I have done, is what you need to do to gain body confidence. I guess you could say it’s like superficial to go to the gym as it’s just about your looks but for me it is so much more in the mind. The gym totally refreshes my mind and makes me feel SO good in myself.
I go by myself most mornings and I honestly love it. I don’t think I’ve changed my figure much really, I think I’m starting to loose a little stomach weight which I’m happy with. But I’ve gained so much confidence in myself from it. And I feel so great in myself after I’ve been. I listen to my music and I literally don’t think about anything else whilst I’m there. I am someone who is constantly overthinking about everything so I really enjoy it as a mind clearer!
Telling your mind to shut up; For me all my insecurities are all in my head. I’ll look in the mirror and I will think about the things I dislike. I’ve luckily never had anyone say anything bad towards my body. (And if anyone has said anything bad about your body then ignore the little shit because you’re all beautiful!!) But everything I thought was just in my mind.
Constantly comparing myself to others and feeling like I should look slimmer or be more toned. And I’m such a big over thinker so I would just constantly overthink and hate my body. And I could never escape these thoughts. Getting dressed, sitting down, going to the loo. Like your body is constantly with you and in view. But I’ve come to realise that isn’t a bad thing!!
So I knew when it came to loving my self a bit more and having more confidence in myself then I’d have to change my mindset. For me this takes time! I can’t really change my mindset quickly. I find that I’m so quick to put myself down and I do know that I have a very low opinion of myself. My self esteem is pretty non existent. But I feel like I’m working on my mindset and I am slowly improving.
I love reading motivating posts from other people, I’ve found that really helps. And I always think this; if I saw someone else exactly like myself then of course I wouldn’t put them down about how they look so why do I tell myself these things!? If I saw someone with the exact same figure as me I’d hype them up but just because it’s myself I put myself down.
There are many other things that help build your self love and confidence. So many simple things like being around people who make you feel amazing. Or wearing a cute outfit that makes you feel great in yourself. Reading other peoples stories or views on body confidence to inspire you. And just remember to be patient, you may feel like you’re getting no where but trust me it will come. I remember one day I woke up and as I was getting changed I look in my mirror and I smiled at myself. And I know so cringey but I looked at myself and genuinely thought I looked good. And that felt SO GOOD! I hadn’t experienced that in so long and now it’s a frequent occurrence because I look good!
If you’re feeling not-so-good in yourself. Then just think ‘why?’. I’ve realised that feeling shit in yourself for so long does no good to your mental health. And I know most people will always have on-going insecurities which is so sad because what we think as our flaws are never flaws! As they say, what you hate will be someone else’s dream!
And remember self love is not bad. Never feel guilty to think or say ‘I look hot in this photo’. Like it is no problem to like the way you look. I feel like it is such a common occurrence for people (especially women) to dislike the way they look or not admit to say they like the way they look.
I always preach about supporting others but you have to remember to support yourself. So learn to love everything about yourself.
I really want to radiate the positivity on my blog and social media because I don’t think I do enough.
Hope you all enjoyed reading, I actually really enjoyed writing this. Feel free to comment below something you love about yourself because a bit of self love hurts no one!!